A Letter From the Past
by Sarah Collins
Summary: CHAPTER 8 IS UP!! Arnold, now nineteen, finds an old letter written to him ten years ago. ~~CHAPTER 8 IS UP~~~~
1. A Discovery!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Hey Arnold_ and I never will. (at least, until I'm as rich as Bill Gates and I keep Craig Bartlett locked up in my basement with all of animation technology..until then though..nope!) 

Arnold, a soon to be college sophomore, was poking around his attic looking for some old crates that he could use to pack up his stuff for the dorm. He had just decided to move his search to the basement when he tripped over a box. He fell spilling the contents of the box onto the attic floor. 

_What was that?_ He rubbed his shin and stooped to inspect the papers which were now scattered all over the floor. He picked up the paper closest to him. 

_"Arnold you are ever so sweet. Even though I just like you and I don't like you, like you will you be my valentine?"_ That's strange. He looked at the signature. Instead of writing _Love,_ and then a name the person had written. _"Like, Lila."_

Upon reading the name Arnold realized that these were valentines from his old school, P.S. 118. Not only were they from the school that he had left so long ago, they were also reminiscent of the last holiday he and his former friends had shared together. It had been a week after Valentine's Day that he had left his fifth grade class. How happy Arnold had been when his parents had been found. And yet..he found that he missed the old neighboorhood. This feeling had been growing within him ever since his grandfather's funeral the year before. He had visited the old neighboorhood then and it was this visit that prompted him to transfer to the very same college that most of his old friends went to. 

He stooped to pick up another valentine. _"To Arnold: From my point of view, you are quite the auxiliary. In other words, I think your a great friend! From: Pheobe."_ Arnold laughed at this valentine as he remembered Pheobe's vast vocabulary. Perhaps now the rest of his old friends have caught up to her articulations. Knowing that he didn't really need the crates until tomorrow, Arnold decided to read every last valentine. 

The next one he chose had some fashion model on it. _"Salut Arnold, I purchased this valentine for you during my family's stay on the French Riviera. It is quite sophistacated, No? Ciao, Rhonda."_ She always did brag about her family's money. Hopefully she's not as bad as she used to be._ If she is there's a good chance I'll return to find her without many friends._

He picked up a card with a hamburger on the front. Right away he realized that it must be Harold's. Before he read it, though, he saw that there had been a letter beneath it on the floor._ A letter? That's strange. What kind of fifth grader gives someone a letter?_ He placed Harold's card aside, opting for the letter. _It's so thick..why it must be at least ten pages!_ He looked at the front of the envelope. _"To Arnold, to be opened upon his arrival in Peru."_

A cold feeling ran over him. He remembered again the week of Valentine's Day. It had fallen on a Tuesday that year. It had been on Monday that he learned that his parents were alive and would be coming home to get him. He had run down to Gerald's Field to tell his friends. 

_"Guys! Guys! You're not going to believe this! My parents are back!I'm going to live with them in Peru!" Arnold ran up to Gerald and hugged him. "Can you believe it Gerald?". "Harold!", he screamed, "I have parents now!" he ran around hugging and yelling. He ran up to Helga and hugged her hard. "Now your father can't call me 'Orphan Boy' anymore!" "Get off of me Footballhead! Why should I care! Go ahead and live with your parents. Get as far away from me as possible!" with that she had run out of the vacant lot._

He had been busy for the rest of the week. He was packing up his life. He was also studying hard so that he could pass the third quarter early. That way he could start school in Peru on the 4th quarter, giving him time to settle in. 

It was now that he realized that he had never read any of the valentines that year. He had thrown them all into a box. He had planned on reading them later but he had never gotten around to it. And now there was a letter which, in some way, was ten years late in being delivered. Whatever the letter said would be outdated and whoever had written it couldn't possibly support anything they might have said so long ago. Opening the letter could only result in unhappiness. Should he open it or not? Perhaps he should bring it with him to college and find out who wrote it first. 

_Yes,_ he decided. _That would be the mature thing to do._ He looked at the plain white envelope and wondered to himself. _What surprises do you hold for me?_

***************** 

Note: A cliffhanger! I'll give you guys the Sarah Collins gaurantee though...if chapter two isn't up by Wednesday you get to hurt me! (that's just at the latest..chances are the 2nd chapter could be done even by tonight!) 


	2. Back to School

Disclaimer: I don't own _Hey Arnold_....yet. When I become a millionaire I'll have my own network which will show rotating episodes of _Hey Arnold_ and _Friends_. 

_ Report to MacAllister Hall _

Dorm Room : #13

Roomate: Micheal J. Cooney

_ Well.._, Arnold thought. _Today's the big day_. It wasn't that he was nervous about the classes. He _had_ transferred from UCLA. No, it was just the fact that he would be seeing his old friends on an everyday basis now. _Why should I care? For all I know they won't even want to be my friends now. A couple letters a month and a few long distance phone calls doesn't make a very stable relationship._

He glanced at the name of his roomate. _Micheal Cooney...hmm_. He was a little disappointed. He had had some wild fantasy of ending up with one of his old chums. _Too bad life never works out the way you want it to._ Arnold was about to venture out to find his room mate when an arm suddenly came around his neck. Because of his old self defense training, Arnold immediatly threw his opponent on the ground. 

"Hey man if that's the way your gonna treat me you better move back to California!" 

Arnold looked down and was startled by seeing someone who looked somewhat familiar. He had recieved a few photos from his classmates over the years. He watched as the stranger got up, shook all the dirt off of himself, and lifted his thumb. Mechanically, Arnold lifted his own thumb and the two boys proceded to do their patented "thumb wiggle". 

"Gerald!" Arnold said, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a hug. "I can't believe it. You look almost the same!" Arnold raised his eyes for the first time to the top of Gerald's head. "Man, you're bald!" 

"Yeah, I know." Gerald said rubbing his smooth top."I got tired of the tower." 

"It looks good." Arnold said. He began shifting his eyes as he looked around campus. "Gerald, it's great to see you and all but I can't help feeling a little, well, strange." Arnold was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Here he was after ten years of waiting to hang out with his best friend and he had nothing to say to him. Or maybe there was _too much_ to say and he felt uncomfortable about saying anything outside on the front lawn. 

"Well," Gerald said, breaking the silence. "What hall are you in? For your dorm room?" 

"MacAllister Hall, #13, and my roomate is someone name Micheal Cooney...do you know this guy?" 

"Hey I'm MacAllister Hall, #16!" Gerald started excitedly. The realizing what Arnold had just said, Gerald made a noise that was half way between a hiccup and a gasp. 

"Hold up man...did you just say that Cooney the LOONEY is your roomate?" 

"Um..yeah I guess so. I'm afraid to ask, but why might he be called Cooney the Looney?" 

"That guy is insane! All of us went to high school with him. He started for the varsity football team as an eighth grader! They had to heighten doorways for the guy. In our school production of Heidi _he played one of the Swiss Alps!_." 

"In other words, switch my roomate?" 

"As fast as possible man." 

"Well who do I talk to about switching roomates? In UCLA we went to the dorm directors but this is obviously a smaller school so..." Arnold watched as Gerald started to smirk. "What's so funny?" 

"Well I just realized that you'll have to talk to your residential advisor." Gerald said, looking as though he was about to burst into laughter. 

"Alright then...who's the RA?" 

"That would be none other than our very own Helga G. Pataki." 

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Short Chapter...I know! This was originally going to be half of a chapter but I might be too busy to put up the rest of the chapter tomorrow so I thought half is better than none. If you don't agree....then it's my story so either agree or stop reading! LOL..Big J/K on that one! 

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	3. New Places, Old Faces

Disclaimer: Like, yeah I totally don't like own that show with the Heying to that Arnold dude...it's just like totally not mine...though it's not like daddy couldn't buy it for me. (My impression of a valley girl) 

"You're telling me that Helga G. Pataki, reigning bully of P.S. 118 is in charge of the dorms?" Arnold couldn't believe his rotten luck."Now I'm going to have to room with a boulder for the next year." 

"Oh, come on Arnold. Helga may be a little sarcastic now and then but she's always up to helping her friends. In fact, she's getting me tickets to the Axis concert in November." From Gerald's letters, Arnold knew he'd do anything for Axis tickets. 

"Helga went out of her way to get you tickets to a band that usually has sold-out shows?" 

"Well yeah, I mean her sister, you know Olga, married the C.E.O of Ticket Takers. She helps all the college kids get tickets through her brother-in-law. 

"Well you can't blame me for being skeptical. I guess I have nothing to lose by asking her anyways..when should I talk to her?" 

"I'd say as a soon as possible. In a couple of days demand will be really heavy and when demand goes up..well let's just say you do _not_ want to be in the same room as Helga." 

A voice suddenly came from behind them. "And why, may I ask, are you talking about me behind my back?" Arnold turned to see a cool looking girl who looked to be around 19 or 20. She was about 5'9 with tight green pants, blonde hair highlighted with strips of pink and purple, and a black t-shirt that said "Your Village Called, They're Missing Their Idiot". Arnold gulped and couldn't help staring at her. 

"Hey Helga, what's up?" Gerald said, raising his eyebrows to Arnold as if to signal him to stop staring. 

"Not much, although I could say the same thing about your hair. What'd you do? Hair Boy was one of my favorite nicknames." Helga laughed and put her hand out to feel the top of Gerald's head. "Does Pheobe like it? I bet she does...by the way who's the friend who keeps gaping at me like I'm from a different planet?" 

_She doesn't recognize me! Though I doubt that I've changed as much as her._ Arnold walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Er..Gerald..why is Staring Boy hugging me?" Her eyes were filled with surprise. _Who the hell does this guy think he is._

"Helga don't you recognize me? I mean, sure, my head eventually grew into a normal shape but come on! Didn't Gerald here tell you that I was coming here for college?" 

"Arnold?" Helga said in almost a half whisper. "I don't believe this. First I lose Hair Boy now I have to trash Football Head?" Helga said jokingly. Then her face turned serious. "I'm glad your back though, our group was never really the same without you." With that Helga gave Arnold an awkward hug, as though she didn't know where to put her hands. Arnold was a little surprised at the gesture. Gerald looked mildly interested but, then again, he was used to seeing Helga show some emotion. To Arnold, though, this was truely a new experience. 

"Anyways," Helga started a little nervously. "I heard you to talking about something...?" 

"Yeah, um...I need to change my roomate. My current prospect is Micheal J. Cooney." 

"Ha! What a way to start your first year of college here..with the Looney as your roommate! Well I'll see what I-" _Beep, beep, beep_. "Grr..damn beeper. Why don't you meet me in the Clifton Room in the library at about 7:00? We can fix your problem then." Arnold nodded as Helga rushed off in search of a pay phone. When he was a kid he'd never have imagined Helga this way. Her new personality seem to fit her somehow. She was still tough, but..you could tell that there was something under that hard exterior. 

"Earth to Arnold. Man, you are STILL a daydreamer." Gerald said as he waved his hands in front of Arnold's face. "I would have thought that you'd outgrow that." 

"I just can't get over how different Helga is. I mean when I think of how she was back in fifth grade...she had her moments, but.." 

"Well, yeah, I guess she's different, but then again everyone is. And her change was so gradual as we were growing up that I guess we never really noticed ya know?" Gerald's eyes brightened as he looked past Arnold. Arnold turned around to see pretty asian girl. She was about medium height, wearing something that looked like a cross between a business suit and a trendy dress. It was hard to describe, but there was no denying that the overall effect worked for her. 

"You don't even have to tell me Gerald." Arnold stood and walked over to Pheobe. He put his arm around her. "What's up Pheebs?" 

"What are you talking about? My name isn't 'Pheebs' it's Cathy. Who are you? And would you please take your arm off of me?" 

"Oh, I'm s-sorry I just thought- you see my friend over there he-" 

"Pheobe that was great!" Gerald said walking over to Pheobe and Arnold. "Man, you are STILL dense. I was walking with Pheobe when I first saw you...I just couldn't resist." 

"That's O.K. I'm just glad that I'm not going to get a reputation as some sicko who goes around hugging random women!" 

"Although I would love to continue this reunion, I feel obligated to inform you that Student Orientation is scheduled to begin in fifteen minutes and we must hurry." 

As Gerald and Pheobe walked towards the auditorium, Arnold stayed behind to look at the campus. Sure it wasn't UCLA but it was nice. It had grass and trees and even a dirt path that led to the various buildings. It may not have the most up-to-date technology but at least here he had friends. He slipped his hand into his back pocket and felt the letter. _This is a new start with me, a couple of sheets of paper shouldn't change it._ He took out the envelope and walked to a trashcan. He held the letter over the trash and then, after a moments thought, put the letter into his backpack. _Then again, you never know._

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Author's Note: O.K. This isn't a very bad cliffhanger...actually it's just more of a good place to end the story rather then a cliffhanger. Next chapter WILL be up by...Thursday at the latest. And just to let you know I do have this story all planned out. I'm just writing the details now.


	4. From Helga's Perspective

Disclaimer: I don't own _Hey Arnold_ or the characters or nickelodeon or Craig Bartlett. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_I don't believe this. Why did I ever sign up to be an RA?_ Helga couldn't stop looking at her watch. She was surrounded by Dover's Hall's complaining elite. Dover's Hall had one great attribute, the top floor was one entire suite of rooms that was usually shared by four senior girls. Some clerical error had been made and there were currently ten girls assigned to four beds. 

"Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?" 

"What happened? Who's fault is this?" 

"I hate this stupid school" 

"Helga, do something!" 

_DO something? They want me to DO something?_ Helga watched as the screaming girls surrounded her. They were starting to close in on her. One of the girls started to shake her. 

"Helga do something. Do something Helga! Helga! Come on Helga!" 

"Aaaaaagggghhhhh!" Helga screamed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Wake up Helga." Helga looked up to see her roommate Pheobe's face filled with concern. "Sorry Pheebs..I think this R.A. thing is getting to me." 

Pheobe searched Helga's face. She knew the real reason Helga was stressed. From experience, though, she knew not to say anything too direct. 

"I see what you mean Helga. This is your first fall season as an R.A., your sister married this summer..." Pheobe continued cautiously "..and of course Arnold's back." 

For a second Helga's face gave her away. Then she regained her senses. 

"Pheobe," she started firmly. "I'm going to set the record straight. Arnold was eons ago. After he moved away I might have had some problems but I survived. I moved on. I mean I've probably had more relationships than most girls our age." 

"Helga, that's part of the problem. You've had too many relationships. You couldn't name one relationship that's lasted more than a month or two. If you were a case study in my psychology class I'd say that you have a deep rooted fear of intamacy, probably stemming from early abandonment. Perhaps Arnold moving had a lasting effect on your relationships with men." 

Helga's eyes started flashing with anger. Her outer shell wasn't as thick as it was as a child but it still hurt when it was penetrated. More then anything she hated the fact that her best friend could crack that shell. 

"Look Pheobe," Helga began furiously. "I am no 'case study' so stop analyzing my life! You don't even understand what it's like to be young and dating different people. You dated Gerald through junior high, high school, and now through college. You've been going out with Gerald for SEVEN years!" 

Helga looked at her best friend and roommate. _I shouldn't have yelled at her like that, no matter how angry I was._ Helga sighed. "Pheebs, I'm sorry. You're right I'm a little stressed out and Arnold returning came as, well, somewhat of a shock." Helga glanced up the clock. "Oh man.. as much as I'd love to continue this conversation, I have to meet Arnold in ten minutes." With that Helga checked her face in the mirror, threw on her jean jacket and left the room. 

Pheobe looked towards the door and sighed. "I know you still love him. I'm just afraid of how much." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_7:06 Clifton Library-_

Arnold watched as Helga entered the library. She paused for a moment and searched the room for Arnold. When she saw him, her face brightened. _Never thought I'd see the day when Helga would look that happy to see me._

"How's it going?" Helga said as she sat across from Arnold. "Did you have any trouble finding your way around?" 

"A little. One interesting thing happened, though, I met Micheal Cooney. He's in my Psych. class. We had a pretty O.K. conversation." 

"You had a conversation with Cooney the Looney? Strike that. Micheal Cooney can actually _have_ a conversation? The most I ever heard from him were some assorted grunts mixed with one syllable words. And I went to high school with the guy for four years." 

"Helga, you have to look for the best in people. I mean you might have known him for four years but did ever bother to find out any personal information about him? He's taking Psych because he wants to be a psychologist. It turns out he went through some pretty hard years in his teens. He told me all about how his having a psychologist gave him a desire to help people. He's almost as smart as Pheobe...he's just been hiding behind a facade." 

_You don't need to tell me about 'hiding behind facades'. I hid behind enough of them._ "Wait a minute. Why do I get the feeling that you're going to end up rooming with this guy?" 

"Probably because you're good at judging people Helga." Arnold said smiling at her. "And you're right. I am going to go ahead with Mike as a roommate. I'd appreciate it if you could remember to call him Mike. He doesn't like that 'Looney' stuff." 

"Well then, if you're not going to be switching roommates I guess I might as well go." Helga said as she started picking her things up off the table. Arnold put his hand on her arm. "You don't have to go. I thought we could talk." 

"About what?" Helga felt her face growing warm. Arnold released his hand as Helga sat down. 

"It's just that, since I saw you this morning, I've been wondering why you never wrote me. I got so many letters from classmates after I moved that I almost thought that Simmons had been assigning it for homework. Like 'Ok all my special people, tonight we're going to write our special friend Arnold his weekly letter.'" 

Helga laughed. "Yeah I guess I can see Simmons saying something like that." Helga avoided Arnold's eyes. "So a lot of our classmates wrote you?" 

"Please don't evade my question. Why didn't you ever write me? I mean I know that we were never best friends but I thought we were at least friends." 

_He considered me a friend?_

"Arnold. I was _ten_. I had alot of problems. Do you really think that I fully understood the meaning of friendship? Look how I treated Pheobe..and she was my best friend." Helga knew she was lying beautifully. After all, she _was_ a drama major, minoring in writing. Even so, she felt bad lying to Arnold._ How can he think I never wrote him? What about the letter? He must have read it. There's no mistake that it was mine. I signed it Helga G. Pataki._

"I never knew you had so many problems. I knew your dad wasn't that great and I knew that your sister was a little _too_ great. I guess I didn't know much past that. Why don't you tell me now? I have nowhere to go." 

_He wants me to sit here and tell him all of my problems from when I was young? That's going to be a little difficult considering that I'll have to leave out the biggest problem I had._

"Well," Helga started taking a deep breath. "It all started when I was a little girl...." 

_That night Helga told Arnold a great deal about her life and her family. At the beginning of the conversation a small part of Arnold felt like he was doing his duty by listening. As Helga got deeper and deeper into her home life he found that his interest in her was growing. It wasn't until closing time that the two parted. Arnold left thinking that he had gained a new friend. Helga left feeling overcome with a whirlwind of emotions. Both left with the same thought: What will these next few weeks bring? _

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Author's Note: This chapter's a little on the short side too..but what are ya gonna do? I don't know why I bothered with an Author's Note. I guess I should have another part up by Thursday (21st) but I think you guys know me enough to know that I'm usually early. Peace! 


	5. A Note from the Author

A Letter From the Author-  
  
My computer crashed and I am currently writing this from my local library.  
  
Unfortunatly I lost the next chapter when it crashed. I have a prelim copy on paper but I'm going to have to edit it  
  
I'm really sorry..I know that you guys expect me to get these chapters out quick and I know what it's like to have to wait...especially with cliff hangers.  
  
It's some girl's turn to use the computer so I gotta go. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up soon.  
  
Peace- Sarah Collins 


	6. Cookies Bring Them Closer Together.

Author's Note: It's been two weeks since I posted a chapter for this story. If you read my 'Letter from the Author' you know why. So, yeah, here it is. HA=CB, you know the drill. _A few months have passed since that night in the library. Helga and Arnold are now very good friends. In fact, with Gerald spending so much time with Pheobe, Arnold now considers Helga to be his best friend. Helga on the other hand, was beginning to feel some of her old affections._

"Alright Arnold, this one's an easy one." Helga said taking a cookie from the plate in front of her. She glanced down at the notebook she was holding. "I'm not even a Psych major and _I_ could answer this one." 

Arnold sighed."Ha ha very funny. And I'll be laughing my way out of college if I don't pass this exam." 

"Alright, alright." Helga said smiling. "Originally, psychology was said to be the science of..." 

"Err...the science of...behavior?" Arnold said hopefully. 

"Eeee! Wrong...remember I said _originally_." 

"Oh! Um..the science of conciousness?" 

"Yes!" Helga said. She picked up a warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie and shoved it into Arnolds mouth. "Here you get a cookie." 

"Helmgmga!" Arnold said, or tried to say. He chewed and swallowed. "These are pretty good though. You're a good baker." 

"Nah, I didn't bake them. Pheobe made them. I'm just good at heating stuff up in the microwave." Helga looked at Arnold's face. "Here," she said handing him a wet-nap. "You've got chocolate all over your face." 

"Hmm..speaking of microwaves, is there any way you can get me tickets to Microwave?" Arnold said hopefully. Microwave was a great local band that Gerald had introduced to him. 

"There's actually a band called Microwave? That's the dumbe-" 

"Yes there's a band called Microwave," Arnold said cutting Helga off. "They're kind of local but they're pretty good." Arnold knew that the only way to stop Helga from insulting something was to cut her off. 

"Come to think of it, I think I've heard of them." Helga looked up at him slyly. "They're the one's with that single that goes 'Won't you please be my TV Dinner? Your frozen foods will help me be thinner...'" Helga was almost laughing as she sang the imaginary lyric. She looked at Arnold expecting him to be annoyed but instead caught a look of amusement on his face. 

"Helga! Sto-" Arnold couldn't help it. He started to crack up. "'Won't you please be my TV dinner?' Where do you come up with this stuff?" 

"Just blessed I guess. Anyways, I can probably get you the tickets. Just get me the money and how many tickets you want tomorrow." 

"That's good. I'm surprised that you can still get tickets. They were sold out last week." 

"Don't worry about it. You know my connections." Helga looked down at her watch. "Oh man, it's almost eight. I have to go to a RA meeting." 

"Oh come on...we're having fun. You're meetings are always about vending machines and toilet paper. I'm sure you can skip one." Arnold really didn't want her to leave. He just loved spending time with her. 

"You know I can't do that. I could lose my position and I need the free dorm room if I want to make it through college without any of Bob's money." Helga started gathering her things. She picked up her leather jacket that was hanging off the back of Arnold's chair. She turned around and reached for the cookies that Arnold was holding in his lap. She grabbed the plate but Arnold pulled it back smiling. She tugged at it and he tugged back playfully. 

"Ar-nold!" she said, faking annoyance. She turned serious. "Come on I really have to go." Helga pulled on the plate one more time. Arnold pulled back and, without realizing his own strength, caused Helga to fall on him while the cookies scattered on the floor. Arnold looked up at Helga who was inches from his face. 

_Why did you do that?_, he wondered to himself. He looked at Helga's eyes, inches from his own. He saw a strange expression on her face. Without thinking, Arnold slowly moved his face forward. His lips met Helga's softly and he felt her flinch for a second before kissing him back. Then, a few seconds into their sweet kiss, Arnold felt Helga pull back. 

"Um...I uh-um..I have to go." Helga said nervously. She ran around the room grabbing her stuff. "Um..you can, uh, keep the cookies. Bye!" With that she practically ran out of the room. 

Arnold, still sitting among the cookies, moved his fingers over his lips. _What the hell just happened?_


	7. Mistakes Made In Haste Are Repented At L...

I don't own Hey Arnold. But XMAS is coming so.. 

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As soon as Arnold woke up the realization of what he had done the night before hit him like a sledgehammer. _Did I really kiss Helga last night?_ He tried to figure out what made him do it. He remembered something that his father had once told him _In order to break down the most complicated situation, you must look past your own emotions and find the simple facts_. When his father had said it, Arnold had thought that he had needed to cut down on the marshall arts movies. Now, though, he decided to take his advice. 

_OK, simplest terms._ Arnold decided to look at the situation objectively. _Well,_ he thought, _I'm a guy and I was flirting with a beautiful girl._ Arnold surprised himself._ At least I can admit that I'd been flirting with her._

_ Then,_ he thought, _the situation caused said girl to be inches from my face. So me being a guy kissed her. I kissed Helga because I was flirting with her and I wanted to kiss her._

_Now the only question is..why? I've already said that she's beautiful but I'm not THAT superficial. I enjoyed spending time with her, but then again I've enjoyed spending time with lots of girls who were only friends. Maybe I-_

"Hey man, why are you sitting there staring at your wall? Don't you have a class in twenty minutes?" asked Mike, formerly known as Cooney the Looney. Mike waved his hand in front of Arnold's head. "You look like you're going to go catatonic or something." 

Arnold looked up towards Mike. Did he know him well enough to tell him what had happened? _No,_ he thought, _I have a feeling that Helga wouldn't appreciate that._

"I'm fine. I guess I'm just worried about my Psych exam." Arnold said as he found a pair of jeans. He searched through a pile of clothes looking for a shirt to wear. "By the way, do you have that Medieval Literature class today?" Arnold found a decent shirt and pulled it over his head. _ I need to do laundry_

"Yeah. It's at 9:30. Why?" Mike turned to Arnold who was frantically threading a belt through the loops on his jeans. "By the way you can borrow my belt." 

"Oh, um thanks. Anyways, Helga's in your class right?" Arnold opened up his backpack and started pulling papers out causing a pile to form on his desk. After emptying his bag he began to put other papers in it that he had had on his desk the night before. "Can you give her the money for the Microwave tickets?" 

"Sure, as long as one of those tickets are for me." Mike looked at his watch. "You better hurry Arnold. You have five minutes to get across campus." 

"Damn." Arnold looked at the pile of papers on his desk and started to head out the door. "The envelope with the money is under all that stuff. I gotta go." With that Arnold started running down the hall of his dorm. 

"Gee, thanks Arnold." Mike muttered under his breath. He started sifting through the papers, found the envelope, and, after throwing it into his backpack, started out of the dorm room to have some breakfast before his 9:30 class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Now the Canterbury tales offers the reader a look at some medieval occupations. Among these characters was the knight who..." 

"_Psst. Helga_" Helga turned to her left. 

"What do you want Looney." 

"It's _Mike_ now Helga. Anyways, Arnold wanted me to give this to you." Mike said as he passed the envelope to Helga. 

"Thanks," she said as she stuck the envelope into her purse. "Tell him that I'll give him the tickets as soon as possible." 

Helga, now facing forward, tried to concentrate on Chaucer but realized she was fighting a losing battle. For the hundreth time that she was reliving the kiss from the night before. She also realized that Pheobe may have been right about her relationships. None of her boyfriends had ever kissed her so softly, wanting to be sweet. The guys she had gone out with in high school were always so forceful. Sometimes they became so impassioned that she had had to slap them or knee them in the groin. 

Before Helga knew it, her professeur announced the date of the next exam. Class ended and Helga began walking towards her dorm. Then, remembering the Microwave tickets, she changed her mind and began heading for the student parking lot. 

As she walked down the long line of cars, Helga thought about the next step she should take regarding Arnold. _Right now I'm a part of his life. If we start a relationship and then break up..._ She couldn't deal with the thought of losing him entirely. _At least now we're friends. I don't think I can go from being his girlfriend to being nothing with him._ But Helga knew something else. _If I don't let myself love him for the fear of being hurt then I'll always regret it._

Helga located her red '88 Ford Pickup. It was big, old, and dirty but she couldn't help loving the car she had had since her junior year in high school. Not that she could afford anything else. She opened the door and hopped up into the seat. She looked down to see that the Arnold's envelope had fallen out of her purse, landing on the concrete. Sighing, Helga climbed out of her car to pick it up. Before she stuffed it back in her purse she noticed some writing on the front: 

_To Arnold, to be opened upon his arrival in Peru_


	8. Helga Has a Flashback.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold or anything remotely as cool... 

Helga looked again at the envelope in her hands. _To Arnold, to be opened upon his arrival in Peru_. There was no mistake about it. She hadn't held it in her hand for nearly ten years but she was certain it was hers. Shaking, she moved her hand over the edge of the flap. Suddenly, she was overcome by wave of flashbacks. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_ The young girl was alone in her room crying. She had just heard the worst news of her life; her beloved Arnold was leaving her forever. He was the one bright spot in her dreary life. She wished now that she had told him her best kept secret. _

The girl glanced up at her calender. Tomorrow would have been, in her mind, the anniversary of their first date; Valentine's Day. She had been planning to return as Cecil but she knew now that Arnold had other things on his mind and that even Cecil was no contest to the return of his parents. She realized that she would really never see him again. Could she gather the courage to tell him before he left? 

No, she thought to herself. She wouldn't dare face him. Another idea came upon her. Perhaps she could take the cowards way out and write him a letter. She could even mark it so that he wouldn't open it until he was in Peru. Knowing that he always 'did the right thing' she was confident that he would follow the instructions written on the envelope. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A wave of emotions struck Helga as she thought of that lonely February 13th. With her head against her steering wheel she began to sob uncontrollably. _No, not now. Please not now. Everything was just starting to get good. I can't deal with this now._ Slowly Helga fingered the outside of the envelope. _What am I doing. I can't open this. I don't want to see that scared little girl._ Something deep within herself knew that she had to open the letter. She had to read it again. 

Slowly, tears running down her face, Helga ripped the letter open. Ten pieces of looseleaf paper fell from the envelope. She realized that her message to Arnold was written on only one page. The others were nine of her best poems. She picked of the paper that began with _My Dearest Arnold._

_My Dearest Arnold, _

Words cannot express the joy you've brought into my life. You are my conscience, my dream boy, my reason for being. One day without you is grave, but a lifetime without you will be torture. The pain I'll feel without you will be the hurt of a broken heart. But no one will ever know because I must hide it. I have no claim to your heart, therefore I'm not allowed to grieve for your absence. 

I know I am being selfish for telling you these things. I have often been described as selfish, a number of times by you yourself. I know that you will feel badly for me, because that is your nature. Please don't, for the worse you feel the worse I will feel. I must tell you something I've been longing to tell you for years, something, which by this letter so far, you may have already figured out. 

I've stalled for time long enough. It's incredibly hard to tell you this, although I've been longing to tell you for years. Please bear with me, I realize I am just talking in circles but I am currently overcome by passion and sorrow. Passion, because today, Arnold, without even realizing it, you hugged me. A hug from you is like a million embraces. I broke off your hug but don't take that to mean that I wanted it to end. I never wanted it to. 

Arnold, I love you. Yes, I love you. In fact, I've loved you since we were three and you told me that you liked my bow. You may not believe this, but that was the first ounce of kindness anyone had ever shown me. My family life is hard. I'm ignored by everyone, forced to compete with a perfect sister for attention. I think you know now who I am but for once I won't just assume you know because, no offense, I've left many clues that you never seem to find. 

I want you to understand something Arnold. I don't expect you to write or call me. Although you may not understand it, it could only make me feel worse to have your friendship and not your love. You may think the words I've written are overdramatic for a ten year old girl, but I think your level of mateurity matches my own. This is my eighth draft of this letter. School is going to start in twenty minutes. In less than half an hour you will recieve this letter. I may seem cold to you today but please understand it's my way of adjusting to your departure. 

Goodbye Forever, 

Helga G. Pataki. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Helga didn't bother to read the poems. With her eyes brimming with tears, Helga doubted that she could have read them if she wanted to. _What a troubled little girl_ she thought to herself. Then glancing into her rearview mirror another thought occured to her. _And what a troubled young woman_

Helga glanced at the clock on her dashboard. She had been sitting in that car for close to thirty minutes. She was about leave the car and head back to her dorm room when a concerned voice came through the window next to her. 

"Helga? Are you OK?" 

It was the last person she wanted to see right then. 

It was Arnold. 


End file.
